


Lullabyes

by SherlockWolf



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Grieving Dean, M/M, Mixed Media, Poetry, Post-Season/Series 12, Season Finale, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 05:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13675626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockWolf/pseuds/SherlockWolf
Summary: Dean's lost Cas. He hurts.





	Lullabyes

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr post: http://sherlockwolf.tumblr.com/post/170861998291/ao3more-he-couldnt-feel-no-he-could-one  
> Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcnd55tLCv8  
> This one's not a standard fic, but I felt that this was a good way to portray Dean's mindset in the immediate moment where he believed that he had lost Cas, forever.

He couldn’t feel.

No, he could.

One thing.

Empty.

No…

Was that a feeling?

 

He was falling.

Not far, just to the ground.

The ground…it was stained dark, inky black.

Not with blood, but with ash.

The ash of feathers, flesh, and bone.

Wings.

   

Blue flame had erupted from his mouth.

Blue eyes had glowed like fire.

Blue flame was a bad thing.

Blue burned hottest.

 

The angel’s chest was soft beneath his cheek.

It was still.

No rise or fall.

No soft rattle of lungs taking in air.

Quiet.

 

Dead.

 

~

    Castiel was not supposed to die again. Ever. He’d _promised._ But here he was, his body cold and stiff under Dean’s weight, as the hunter laid across his chest and heaved with sobs.

    Dean was consumed with a pain he couldn’t describe. Castiel had been…indescribable. A friend, a brother, a lover. _T’hy’la_ , as Commander Spock might have said. Dean needed Castiel like he needed Sam, or Mom, or Baby. He needed his angel to even _breathe_.

    But Castiel was gone. Forever. His grace was etched in ash upon the ground, broken wings on display for the world. Wings Dean had held, caressed with his own hands as though nothing else mattered but the _soft_ touch of Castiel’s feathers. Wings that the world should never have seen.

    Dean didn’t register the words that shoved their way through his throat, breaking his sobs with croaked vows and pleads. _Come back, I love you, I need you, you can’t go._

Dean does register when he begins to sing. It’s long after everything has gone quiet, after Sam has gone to find the devil’s spawn, after Dean’s lungs can’t handle his pain any longer.

    It’s a song he put on Cas’ mixtape. A song he wished he’d had the chance to listen to _with_ Cas. A song that said everything he couldn’t.

 

~

 _Goodnight, **my angel**_  
 _Time to close your eyes_  
 _And save these questions for another day_  
 _I think **I know**  what you've been asking me_  
 _I think **you know**  what I've been trying to say_  
 _**I promised** I would never leave you_  
 _And you should always know_  
 _Wherever you may go_  
 _No matter where you are_  
 _I never will be far away_  
  
_Goodnight, **my angel**_  
 _Now it's time to sleep_  
 _And still so many things **I want**  to say_  
 _Remember all the songs you sang for me_  
 _When we went sailing on an emerald bay_  
 _And like a boat out on the ocean_  
 _I'm rocking you to sleep_  
 _The water's dark_  
 _And deep inside this ancient heart_  
 _You'll **always**  be a part of me_  
  
_Goodnight, my angel_  
 _Now it's time to **dream**_  
 _And dream how wonderful your life will be_  
 _Someday your child may cry_  
 _And if you sing this lullabye_  
 _Then in **your heart**_  
 _There will always be a part of me_  
  
_Someday **we'll all be gone**_  
 _But lullabyes go on and on..._  
 _They **never die**_  
 _That's how you_  
 _And I_  
 _Will be_

**_Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel), Billy Joel_ **


End file.
